QUESTIONS AROUND JARTS (FARTS IN A JAR)
1) Is this real? As close to real as a fart in a jar can get. Our clients love our product and we do everything to make sure our clients are happy with what we deliver!
2) Where does the fart come from? Our secret method. Would you ask the colonel to divulge his secrets? Don't worry, it's not flammable and it's non-toxic.
3) What comes in a jart? Depends on the jart. At the very least, a fart. Plus, a customized note that says whatever you want.
4) Can I send a jart anonymously? Yes! They won't know who sent it unless you want to sign your name to the note. Nothing short of a court order will unseal our cheeks.
5) How long does the smell last in the jar? 7-10 days depending on temperature and nostril flow. This includes shipment time.
6) How long does the smell last once the jar is open? It lasts as long as any fart that's released out into the wild; it depends on how much air is circulating.
7) How bad does it stink? It won't knock you out but you sure as hell can smell it when you open the jar.
QUESTIONS AROUND SHIPPING
8) What's your shipment time? We ship First Class Package in the US via USPS. USPS says 1-3 business days. (That's after 1-2 days processing time - so calculate accordingly. You'll be notified of progress via email.)
9) Can you guarantee shipping times? No. Whatever USPS can do via First Class Package. Anything that's guaranteed delivery is really expensive.
10) I didn't receive my order. That's not a question. However, if there's a problem with your order delivery, we'll work with you to figure out what happened and try to make it right. Please bear in mind that we are not the US Postal Service and have as much control as any one else when it comes to what they're doing.
11) Do you ship internationally? Sort of... we ship to Canada via USPS and Canada Post. And we have a partner site in the UK who can take care of orders in the UK or Europe. www.fartsdirect.com. Anywhere other than those places...nope.
12) I want to ship to England/Germany/Europe. Can you do that? If you want to ship to anywhere in the UK or Europe, go to our brother from another mother site www.fartsdirect.com.